The Graveyard

“It’s More Like an Explorable Painting Than an Actual Game.”

“Stone flowers will suffice to keep me nice and warm.”
Steam banner image for The Graveyard.

For a time in the late aughts and early 2010s, the term “indie game” was something like a dirty word in some circles. Divorced from its literal meaning in simply describing games developed and published outside of the AAA system, it had briefly taken off as a dismissive derogative — a catch-all for any game that dared to deviate from the industry standard template, prioritize its story-telling over mechanics, or – god forbid – not incorporate combat into its gameplay loop. Truly, these were stupid times: An era in which we apparently had to re-litigate whether or not games are art (they are), where pixel graphics were considered as lazy (they’re not), and when some of us were seriously worried that the emerging trend of “walking simulators” threatened the very sanctity of the medium itself (they didn’t). Boy howdy, did folk ever like to toss that walking simulator label around — where any game that didn’t center around constantly shooting everything and everyone on screen was somehow seen as a “political statement.” These same detractors would then go off to play military shooters like Call of Duty and Battlefield, where it’s well-established that politics clearly play no part in those IPs. If all this sounds too dumb to be true — like I’m just inventing a hypothetical person to get mad about here? Well, here’s the thing: That person used to be me, and I can confirm that I certainly wasn’t alone in my boneheaded beliefs.

Suffice it to say, but the public perception of indie games has largely changed for the better in the past decade. Things have more or less completely flipped around now to where the AAA publishers are now painted as the ones who threaten the sanctity of the medium (accurately so), and indie developers are seen as a sort of last bastion of hope for innovation in the field. Anyone who tries to argue that “games aren’t art” is now viewed as completely out of touch, retro throwback graphics are very much in vogue, and military shooters are now contemporaneously considered as the single-most tired premise for a game imaginable. I like to think that most of us “indie cynics” grew up, learned to see the industry for what it truly is, and came to accept that we were wrong to dismiss the efforts of such inspired creators — of folk whose passion for this digital business never wavered, even as they had to deal with assholes like us. And for those of us who didn’t evolve our thinking or adapt with the times… I guess they still mostly stick to Call of Duty and Battlefield, but they sure don’t seem happy about it.

But what of the so-called walking simulators? Has their reputation too changed for the positive with the passage of time? Well, for one thing; we’ve largely started referring to them as “environmental narrative games” now, which is a pretty good start. And there have certainly been a few titles to emerge from the scene that have gone on to receive acclaim from both critics and consumers alike; such as Firewatch, Everybody’s Gone To The Rapture, and What Remains of Edith Finch. But even bearing all that in mind, I think it’s fair to say the classification is still a ways away from mainstream acceptance — not yet quite ready to be perceived as a “real genre” unto itself: Largely passive gameplay experiences are still a tough sell for the average consumer, who have come to expect more engaging digital escapism for their hard-earned money. If I’m being honest with y’all, it’s still not a genre of game that I personally get all that much out of, either. Different strokes for different folks and all that. But maybe that’s just my old biases talking? Perhaps it’s time to reevaluate some of those titles I previously dismissed, now that I’m a bit more open to giving them a fair shake.

In the spirit of second chances and better understanding, we’re going to take a look at one of the most widely mocked games to ever bear the walking simulator label: 2008’s The Graveyard, developed and published by Belgian studio Tale of Tales. It’s a title whose intentions have perhaps been misunderstood by consumers for the past decade plus, and whose high concept premise I’ve seen written off as everything from “pointless” to “pretentious.” At the same time, it’s also a multiple award nominee, which has been cited as a direct source of inspiration for one of the top-grossing AAA games of 2009. And as if that duality wasn’t confusing enough, I also have to address the fact that its own developers don’t even like to describe it as a “game,” seeming to prefer the phrase “explorable painting.” Perhaps you’re already beginning to understand why some folk write it off as pretentious? In any event, we’ll be treating The Graveyard like any other game we’d cover on this website: Attempting to measure its merits, exploring its perceived faults, and seeking to understand how it all came to be in the first place. So button up your most somber ensemble and bring your finest flowers, as we prepare to visit an honest-to-god digital cemetery.

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HG101: Die Hard

By good fortune, I had the opportunity to pen a pair of articles for Hardcore Gaming 101 on the subject of  Die Hard‘s early video game adaptations; covering installments on DOS, Commodore 64, and – of course – its apparently “infamous” NES iteration! As it turns out, I’ve actually got some nice things to say about the whole lot of ’em, and I’d encourage you to check out my articles at the links below. I’m hoping to get the chance to contribute some further writings to the site in the future, as I’ve been a long-time fan of HG101 for some time now — having followed Kurt Kalata since the ol’ Castlevania Dungeon days, and having appeared on their podcast several times as well. Fingers crossed, folks!

Die Hard (C64 / IBM PC)
Die Hard (NES)

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SSFF: Zeebo – Brazil’s Bizarre Delisted Console | Past-Mortem

Boy howdy, this one’s been in the oven for a hot minute! But between having written the initial script draft and now watching the final product; I’m proud to say that this latest video is probably one of my proudest contributions in covering games history, and that the story of TecToy’s Zeebo can finally be told in the detail its never been fully granted. Perhaps one day, I’ll still wind up doing a written ‘Console Review’ for the site that can go into even further detail? But for now, I do hope that this episode of Stop Skeletons From Fighting should suffice: So far, feedback on the video from the Brazilian audience has been super appreciative, and thanked us for shining a light on subjects seemingly unknown to the larger gaming world. I’m just happy to have played my part in it all.

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Indiepocalypse #26: The Jaws of Life

Cover art by JazzieSculpts.

Our monthly feature extrapolating neat ideas from oft-maligned games for @PIZZAPRANKSIndiepocalypse returns! As you may remember, our last feature covered Friday the 13th on NES: The 8-bit approximation of a popular movie license, brought to us by the fine folk at LJN. In this issue, it just so happens we wound up covering another 8-bit take on a movie license, brought to us once again by LJN. Of course, we’re talking about 1987’s release of Jaws, and pulling a novel concept for progression from its sharp-toothed maw:

I almost get the impression that the intention here was to make the focus of Jaws less about actually hunting down Jaws, and instead meant to center around avoiding them outright as you attend to your other ocean business? Like, I think they may have modeled it more after the classic style of score-chasing game, where endurance is more the goal than a defined clear state. That strikes me as a little “late” for 1987, and the game does end completely with Jaws’ defeat (rather than awarding a load of points before looping at higher levels of difficulty), but could still very well have been the intention. If that’s the case, I expect that LJN and the developers’ intended expectation was for players to genuinely fear the mass of pixels representing the titular shark, and to do their best to play the game trying to dodge those encounters – at least until the point of having felled enough fish and crustaceans to die a rich man, and deciding it’s finally time to face their fear. Of course, how developers may intend for players to approach a game can vary wildly from how the casual consumer ultimately does.

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Homie Rollerz

“Nice Game, Shortys. Now Get Your Nalgases off to School!”

“What the heck? What’s a clown doing
on my beach?”

My best attempt at a self-portrait in
the Homies’ art style.

Remember going to the grocery store as a kid, and seeing those gumball machine-style dispensers filled with various candies? You’d pop in a quarter, turn a knob, and receive a handful of sweet treats to tide you over on the car ride back home. I have a distinct memory of getting dragged to a tire store by my mom, standing in the lobby as she took care of her tire-related business, and noticing a dusty old dispenser packed to the brim with ‘Mike and Ike’ fruit chews. And just as quickly as it caught my eye, I took notice of a little bonus treat inside: A veritable colony of ants scurrying about, presumably left to nest within over the course of years while completely neglected by the store staff. I don’t think I’ve ever gambled on 25¢ candies again since that fateful day, and I have a hunch that a lot of folk reading this can probably share similar experiences. It’s perhaps for this issue with upkeep that most stores eventually stopped filling these machines with candy, and converted them to a newly-emerging vending business model: Cheapo toys contained within plastic capsules, typically with “collectible” marketing hooks attached to them. I reckon some of y’all may know these dispensers better as “gashapon” — a moniker we’ve since inherited from the Japanese, who seemed to be way ahead of us on this vending trend and who generally tend to stock their machines with much nicer novelties for your ¥100—500. And yes, for those of you who didn’t already know: The word “gasha” (an onomatopoeia for the sound the machines make while being cranked) is what eventually inspired the terminology for the “gacha games” that have become a money-sucking plague on the video game industry.

But we’re not here to talk about gacha games — at least not yet, anyway. As it turns out, I wrote that whole rambling tangent to set the stage for a Nintendo DS kart racer! No, it’s not that playing these bad games has made me crazy in the head…[♫] at least not yet, anyway? Today’s game is a licensed affair, with its source material being perhaps one of the most infamous vending machine toy lines to emerge within the States: David Gonzales’ ‘Homies,’ featuring caricatures of [mostly] Mexican-American peoples emanating from the barrios of Los Angeles. In spite of political divisiveness and attempts by law enforcement to link them to gang culture – resulting in periods of time where they were pulled from retail distribution – Homies endured these public trials on its way to becoming a cultural phenomenon, and ultimately sold through hundreds of millions of its associated plastic figures. Naturally, this opened the door for a variety of crossover media, including the series’ own video game excursion. Which brings us back to today’s main subject: 2008’s release of Homie Rollerz for Nintendo DS, as published by Destineer and developed by Webfoot Technologies. Unfortunately, the Homies’ video game debut would only go on to rate as the second-lowest DS game within Metacritic’s historical aggregate, and continue to carry a reputation as one of the worst kart racing games of all time.

Of course, we’ve got a lot of ground to cover before we can even get into the game itself, as is our obligation here on the Bad Game Hall of Fame. First, we’re gonna have to cover a brief history of the Homies toy line, as well as provide a profile on series creator David Gonzales. We’ll address their appeal to Chicano culture, some of the franchise’s controversies, and several of the other spin-offs seen on its way to getting a video game adaptation. We’ll also provide some background history on the game’s developer Webfoot Technologies, plus publisher Destineer. Then and only then can we address the Homie Rollerz game within its necessary context, and get to settling whether or not it’s truly worthy of its repugnant reputation. Is it possible that – much like the toy line that spawned it – it’s simply misunderstood outside of its target demographics? Could there have been a concerted effort by critics to keep it down, motivated solely by its licensed nature and claimed “glorification” of negative stereotypes? Does a gringo like me have any business at all talking about this highly contentious and deeply cultural subject matter? All I can say to all that is: I promise to give Homie Rollerz as fair a shake as is possible, and to speak on the broader franchise with the best understanding of it I can gather for myself. Let’s get to rollin’, folks.

For the record: Mike and Ikes actually rule. They’re probably a candy you never think to buy while you’re browsing the snack aisle, but hot damn if they don’t pair well with a motion picture show and a bucket of popcorn. On my list of “candies I only think to buy at the movie theater;” I’d rate them way above Junior Mints, slightly ahead of Raisinets, but a notch below my beloved Sno-Caps.
At the risk of sounding like a stereotypical white, and for whatever it may be worth: My Latinx girlfriend will be serving as a consultant on this article, and checking my work to ensure that I’m not speaking out of turn or inadvertently misconstruing any of the key details where it comes to the culture. I’m genuinely trying to approach this subject from as fair and measured a perspective as possible, and hoping to avoid all the pitfalls which other non-Latinx game reviewers seemed to stumble headfirst into back in the day. And believe you me: We’ll be covering a few of those unfortunate reviews in time.

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