“Zack Sure Does Know How to Get a Girl’s Attention.”

“Is this going too far?
Dead or Alive Paradise North American cover.

It should be no secret that our last article on Death Crimson was a tough one to get done. After putting in that work, I reckon I’m due a vacation of sorts! By which I mean, I’m gonna go ahead and pick out an article subject which [theoretically] shouldn’t require much in the way of “research” or “effort” in writing about. And if I can manage to find a game with some sort of idyllic paradise vacation theming, then it’ll be all the more apropos for it. With any luck at all, I might even manage to squeeze some actual rest and relaxation in.

So, Dead or Alive Paradise for the PlayStation Portable, eh? I will confess: I’m not going into this as a particular fan of the larger fighting game franchise, let alone the “Xtreme” sub-series of beach volleyball and lady-ogling simulation it hath wrought. Naturally, Paradise falls distinctly under the banner of the latter — specifically serving as a stripped-down conversion of the Xbox 360’s Dead or Alive Xtreme 2. For folk who wanted to take their voyeurism on the road back in 2010, Paradise would serve as a slice to go on Sony’s then-current handheld. But in a line of titles which have never necessarily been critical darlings,** it would seem that this entry on the PSP stands out for receiving the most in the way of negative reception.

I suppose the question we’ll be left to tackle is, what made Paradise stand out as particularly egregious in the eyes of critics and consumers? Is it simply a matter of its sensual shtick wearing thin? Was the PSP incapable of powering the potent physics behind those bouncing breasts? Or perhaps once you strip the game down to its bare essentials, it simply doesn’t have much to show for itself? We’ll be getting to the bottom of it over the course of this article. And of course, as long as we’re here; I’ll also be providing my briefing on the broader Dead or Alive branding, as well as the franchise’s futures post-Paradise. It’s time to hit the beaches, babes.

EDITOR’S NOTE: While Dead or Alive Paradise never goes so far as to display explicit nudity, it’s still worth putting up a disclaimer here that the gameplay [and our accompanying footage] traffics almost entirely in softcore erotica. As such, this article will inevitably have to discuss the subjects of titillation and potential sexploitation. Readers uncomfortable with such matters / not of age to engage with it should give this article a skip.

** The first installment in the Xtreme series – Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball for the Xbox – currently holds a 73 average on Metacritic. This would prove to be the series high point in terms of critical reception, and does admittedly serve as what I would consider to be decently-received release.