Category Archives: Game Reviews

Mortal Kombat Trilogy (Game.com)

Posted on January 22, 2022 by Cassidy

“Mortal Kombat Trilogy. The Future’s Dead, Fundamentally.”

Thirty-seven kombatants enter the deadly tournament, but only thirteen emerge to kompete in this ill-advised Game.com konversion. See what korners Tiger kut in bringing Mortal Kombat Trilogy to their kult handheld.

Posted in Game Reviews  |  , , , , , , ,  |  Leave a Comment?

DOOM (3DO)

Posted on December 29, 2021 by Cassidy

“Swept With the Boom, Don’t Forget to Assume, Time Catches up With Some 3DO DOOM.”

DOOM‘s foray onto the 3DO Interactive Multiplayer doomed from the word go, thanks to its being handled by the industry’s most clueless publisher. Given just ten weeks’ time to develop it, a lone hero would thwart Hell itself to see the game through.

Posted in Game Reviews  |  , , , , , ,  |  4 Comments

Ganso Saiyūki: Super Monkey Daibōken

Posted on November 17, 2021 by Cassidy

“Roulette Blast a Roddin’, Reptile Rhythm Voodoo, Journey to the West and…?”

The quest to adapt Journey to the West to the Family Computer was fraught with its own set of hardships, as a first-time publisher and recently-pivoted developer embarked on their very own pilgrimage of game production. Did they achieve enlightenment, or fall into digitized despair?

Posted in Game Reviews  |  , , , , , ,  |  2 Comments

Battle: Los Angeles

Posted on October 22, 2021 by Cassidy

“Please, Baby, No More Battles in L.A.”

Cassidy takes developer Saber Interactive to task, for their role in translating an underwhelming action film into a further disappointing first-person shooter. But is their tie-in game the result of misguided ambition, or more conscious carelessness?

Posted in Game Reviews  |  , , , , , , , ,  |  1 Comment

Urban Yeti!

Posted on September 3, 2021 by Cassidy

“I Don’t Think You’re Ready for this Yeti.”

What do you get when you combine a mock cult, Dolemite, surfboarding, and multiple failed distribution deals? Why, a Game Boy Advance cartridge about cryptids, obviously! The story of what is possibly the GBA library’s oddest entry, and the industry history of the folk responsible.

Posted in Game Reviews  |  , , , , ,  |  5 Comments

Virtual Lab

Posted on August 11, 2021 by Cassidy

“Doctor Rocka, You’re Needed in the Virtual Lab.”

As the Virtual Boy counted down its final hours, a fledgling publisher emerged to release a last-minute cartridge for the console. But was it even a finished product at that point? Leave the experiment to us.

Posted in Game Reviews  |  , , , , , ,  |  6 Comments

SQIJ!

Posted on April 1, 2021 by Cassidy

“We Were Living for the City, Now We’re Living for the SQIJ.”

In which all the excruciating details of the ZX Spectrum’s least functional game are finally revealed! Will our titular fowl find some comfort in the truths behind his most disastrous conversion?

Posted in Game Reviews  |  , , , , , , ,  |  3 Comments

Virtual Hydlide

Posted on March 11, 2021 by Cassidy

“In Hydlide or in Low Tide, I’ll Be by Your Side.”

In 1984, the first ever ‘Action RPG’ genre debuted across Japanese computers. In 1995, its world of high fantasy was reimagined for the Sega Saturn. But is this 3D take on Fairyland truly the stuff of nightmares?

Posted in Game Reviews  |  , , , , , , ,  |  3 Comments

Spelunker (NES)

Posted on May 29, 2020 by Cassidy

“That Old Spelunker’s Golden.”

In one of the Famicom’s most infamous kusogē, slight falls spell fatality for an unfortunate spelunker. Does “The Weakest Action Hero in the History of Video Games” truly earn his distinction, or have the rumors of his many deaths been an exaggeration?

Posted in Game Reviews  |  , , , , , , ,  |  1 Comment

XDR: X-Dazedly Ray

Posted on May 11, 2020 by Cassidy

“Been X-Dazedly and Confused, for So Long It’s Not True.”

When one-time developer UNIPACC attempted to enter the Mega Drive’s market for scrolling shooters, their disaster would echo across the galaxy. The story of Ray Starbreaker and his ‘Operation X’ can finally be told!

Posted in Game Reviews  |  , , , , , ,  |  4 Comments