Author Archives: Cassidy

Cassidy is the curator of a bad video game hall of fame. Whether you interpret that as "a hall of fame dedicated to bad video games" or as "a sub-par hall of fame for video games" is entirely up to you. Goes by "They / Them" pronouns.

Genuine cowpoke.

Contact: E-mail | Twitter

SQIJ!

Posted on April 1, 2021 by Cassidy

“We Were Living for the City, Now We’re Living for the SQIJ.”

In which all the excruciating details of the ZX Spectrum’s least functional game are finally revealed! Will our titular fowl find some comfort in the truths behind his most disastrous conversion?

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Virtual Hydlide

Posted on March 11, 2021 by Cassidy

“In Hydlide or in Low Tide, I’ll Be by Your Side.”

In 1984, the first ever ‘Action RPG’ genre debuted across Japanese computers. In 1995, its world of high fantasy was reimagined for the Sega Saturn. But is this 3D take on Fairyland truly the stuff of nightmares?

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Yaroze a Day #04

Posted on January 26, 2021 by Cassidy

Games covered include: Between the Eyes, Bill’s Shooting Game, Black Widow, Blaster, Blitter Boy, Block Break, and Blockout.

Posted in Yaroze a Day  |   |  3 Comments

SSFF: Surprise 3D in GBA Games | Punching Weight

Posted on December 23, 2020 by Cassidy

SURPRISE! Here’s the first episode I helped write for one of my favorite YouTube channels (and inaugural “Cool Cats” inductees), Stop Skeletons From Fighting! I’ve been sitting on this secret for a hot minute now – something like the past …

Posted in Off-Site Works  |  ,  |  3 Comments

Spelunker (NES)

Posted on May 29, 2020 by Cassidy

“That Old Spelunker’s Golden.”

In one of the Famicom’s most infamous kusogē, slight falls spell fatality for an unfortunate spelunker. Does “The Weakest Action Hero in the History of Video Games” truly earn his distinction, or have the rumors of his many deaths been an exaggeration?

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XDR: X-Dazedly Ray

Posted on May 11, 2020 by Cassidy

“Been X-Dazedly and Confused, for So Long It’s Not True.”

When one-time developer UNIPACC attempted to enter the Mega Drive’s market for scrolling shooters, their disaster would echo across the galaxy. The story of Ray Starbreaker and his ‘Operation X’ can finally be told!

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Advanced Lawn Mower Simulator

Posted on April 1, 2020 by Cassidy

“Get Your Mower Runnin’, Head Out on the Highway.”

When a games magazine thought to keep an April Fool’s Day prank running for nearly a year and a half, the end result could only be the ultimate gag game. Are you a bad enough dude to mow the lawn?

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I Dream of Streamy

Posted on March 26, 2020 by Cassidy

As we’re sat stuck at home in the midst of the currently ongoing global pandemic (perhaps you’ve heard about it?), we’ve taken the opportunity to pick up streaming on our Twitch channel again! As good an excuse as any, right? …

Posted in Site Updates  |  1 Comment

The “Don’t Play This Game” Roundup

Posted on March 2, 2020 by Cassidy

In this list, we assemble all twelve games in GameSpot’s unofficial “Don’t Play This Game” collection: Low-scoring games which went on to receive template-breaking video reviews, and share a common phrase made to warn viewers away from the titles in question. Featuring a bonus interview with Alex Navarro.

Posted in Lists 'n' Roundups  |   |  1 Comment

Human Killing Machine

Posted on February 15, 2020 by Cassidy

“I Got No Face, No Name. I’m Just a Human Killing Machine.”

In the days before The World Warrior, a British computer games publisher pitched their own Street Fighter sequel to Capcom. Despite rejection, development continued. Step aside, Ryu: “Kwon is Strong.”

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