“’Ja Think I’m a Cowboy?”

Key art for Popeye on Nintendo Switch.

In my younger years, I used to have to deal with debilitating bouts of insomnia. There were stretches of two or three days at a time where I could not get a good night’s sleep to save the life of me, and I’d spend all of my school days in a daze — entirely unable to tune into my classes, and kept on constant edge by auditory hallucinations. When it came time to “head to bed” back at home, my mother would kick me off my computer at a designated hour (additionally hiding away its power cord to discourage my sneaking back onto it), and send me to lay down for what felt like endless hours of fruitless tossing and turning. In this restlessness – tortured by my inability to peacefully slumber – I sought distractions to keep my mind occupied: Some nights, I’d manage to sneak my Game Boy up into my room, but I could only barely make out the screen with the benefit of a desk lamp pointed directly at it. Other nights, I’d sit and read books under that same light source; but my sleep-addled brain would usually lose focus pretty quickly, and rarely ever finish anything from cover to cover. My greatest escape from my late-night doldrums, then, was a 20″ inch CRT television, with a basic cable package to pair. I’d flip through the channels catching snippets of whatever reruns the stations filled their time slots with, until I’d inevitably settle on the same programming block night after night: Cartoon Network’s line-up of classic animations, dubbed “Late Night Black & White.” You younger readers might not remember a time before Adult Swim, but CN used to use that time slot to air cartoons with vintages dating back to the 1930s and 40s. And as I recall, the block was typically bookended by America’s favorite sailor man — the one and only Popeye. This is all a long-winded way of saying that I have a history with the Spinach-chomping scamp, and a certain affection for his animated adventures by way of Fleischer and Famous Studios. (Though truth be told, I’m really more of a ‘Merrie Melodies’ gal.)

Of course, Popeye has starred in more than just cartoons: Between his origins as a comic strip character and his side hustles hawking branded spinach and candy cigarettes, the stubborn sailor has made several attempts at breaking into the video game market. Surprisingly, there’s a ton of fascinating history attached to his 1982 debut arcade title, which has since gone on to be regarded as something of a classic. Unfortunately, it’s been mostly downhill from there in the span of the forty years to follow; between the license falling into some shaky hands, the best follow-ups only being Japanese-exclusives, and decade-long periods of total inactivity in the market. It’s not surprising then that Popeye’s latest game (as of the time of this writing) is an attempt to harken back to his arcade glory days — a full 3D re-imagining of his most beloved digital adventure. The problem is, the company responsible for its production is something of a notorious “shovelware” developer: England’s ‘Sabec Limited,’ whose previous console credits comprise titles the likes of Chess, Checkers, and Calculator. Not exactly the sort of back catalogue that inspires confidence. And yet, King Features Syndicates saw fit to bequeath them a crown jewel, in the form of their most iconic license. Did they perhaps spot a potential in Sabec that no one else had? Did the team win them over with their passion for the property? Or is it simply a case of the studio putting in an obscenely low bid on an open call to develop a Popeye game, and proceeding to put an equally low budget towards producing it? Yeah, it’s probably just that last one, if we’re being honest. But I suppose we won’t know for sure until we actually play and review it here, huh?

Before we get to reviewing Popeye for the Nintendo Switch and PlayStation 4, we’ll provide a brief biography of the character and his rapid ascent to comic stardom. From there, we’ll cover some of his earlier video game hits and misses — by which I of course mean covering every other official Popeye video game ever released. Maybe we’ll even find a couple titles along the way that are arguably lousier than the actual subject of this article? While we’re at it, we’ll also rehash the story of how Nintendo’s Donkey Kong arcade cabinet was very nearly a Popeye title, since that’s a fascinating (if not already well-worn) bit of history in itself. Then, we’ll do our best to document Sabec Ltd.’s transition from developing quiz games for British pubs, to flooding digital marketplaces with some of the most disposable software ever seen. Only then can we fully appreciate their take on Popeye, and determine for ourselves if it’s truly the worst of the sailor’s virtual voyages. And after this article goes up, we’ll have to wait and see if Sabec threatens to sue us into taking it down, as they once attempted to do in the case of a YouTube video criticizing their product! Lucky for me, I have a Whiffle Hen on hand that I can rub for good luck, so I’m sure that everything is gonna turn out alright. So hoist those sails and pop open those spinach cans, folks: It’s high time to take this show out on the high seas.